“Come on Buffalo! Fuck him up!” I yelled at my monitor on the first NFL Sunday in September. Looking back, trying to will a team as bad as Buffalo to try to inflict pain on Mark Sanchez was asking too much. As we would later learn, he was more than capable of doing it to himself. Continue reading
Look away now if you want to retain your sanity at what is about to follow
April was a rough month for me. It almost always is. It wasn’t that there was anything going particularly wrong with this blog, rather it was about my mental state at the time. But this post isn’t really about that, it is one particular man. A man who tries very hard at his job, and when he doesn’t get results, he’s called things like a flop, a rich man’s desperate project, past his best, etc. However, for a brief moment in late April, he caused some to literally orgasm in joy as a result of his being lazy. Oh yes, following last year’s completely ignored post on Stoke City, I now present to you Effort’s Fernando Torres.
I woke up one morning to see this. Those numbers are 5 feet off the ground
This is part of a series of shorter posts recapping more whimsical aspects of 2011, not necessarily having to do with any of the main topics covered by this blog.
Back in July, I took a bit of a short vacation to Los Angeles of all places. The city has something of a bad reputation out here in the Midwest, and the reaction I got from coworkers ranged from “at least it will be cooler out there” to “I hope you don’t get shot”. It was tepid to say the least.
I didn’t particularly do that much in the 3 days I was there. Walked around downtown LA a bit, attended a match at the Home Depot Center, almost got into a car accident more times than I could remember and In-and-Out Burger, how could I forget one of the best parts.
The Staples Center, home arena of a few bloggers' favorite player. At this point, it was home to a giant skateboard ramp.
I suppose I can’t forget the meeting with Crusader and zzeroparticle in Long Beach, along with another guy whose name I can’t seem to remember. So you have one of these off-kai type sessions and what am I thinking about? Discussions of the NFL lockout, the state of our respective sports teams, our lives outside of the conversation taking place. That latter one I struggle with no matter how comfortable the setting is, but otherwise pretty normal topics for normal people in a normal location.
We then caught Captain America where I, as the sole non-student/soldier had to pay full price. It was a lot better than I thought it would be going in. Bring on disappointment with The Avengers. Regardless, there’s no reason to treat these offline get together sessions any differently from meeting with friends. That is unless the occasion dictates it, etc.
They've been promoting this game for a long time
Finally, the real reason for the post title. On my flight back, I happened to be on the same flight as Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun. At the time I thought it was a pretty awesome coincidence, and the Brewers went on an amazing run after that. Of course, the news that he failed a test for performance enhancing drugs put a little damper on that. There’s a lesson in there involving hero worship and athletes I guess.
To end this on a lighter note, I have to ask where should I head off to next?
Oh God, please no more!
This is part of a series of shorter posts recapping some of the more whimsical aspects of 2011, and not necessarily having to do with any of the main topics covered by this blog.
There were quite a few occasions in the early parts of the year where I would over-consume something that was bad for me. This was, after all, the time when SCCSAV ran the “Oniikoto Drinking Game” where penguins and cats meant the end of one’s sobriety. However, the sometime fanservice inflicted hangover was nothing compared to another terrible decision.
Having ordered a bunch of Girl Scout Cookies in early February, I got them a few weeks later on the first of March. After enjoying dinner, I woke up the next morning with the cookies on the counter and had a terrible idea. Those cookies would be my sole nutritional source for the day. The result was horrific.
I believe this would be in the "finish your drink" category in the drinking game
Calling it the equivalent of living on a roller coaster for the day would make it seem easier than it actually was. Brief feelings of sugar induced highs were canceled out by the headaches that came as that energy was used up. By nightfall, I was comparing it to a terrible hangover on Twitter.
Needless to say, I will not be ordering cookies in 2012.
Some of the reaction to this has been a tad over the top.
This is part of a series of shorter posts recapping some of the more whimsical aspects of 2011, and not necessarily having to do with any of the main topics covered by this blog.
The group watches of the NBA Playoffs with Crusader have carried on to Sunday and Monday night NFL games with Sou. To be honest, there have been many, many terrible games in which the conversation always takes a different turn from the game being played. Since this is NFL season, the topic of the most polarizing man in America in 2011 has come up numerous times. That would be Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow.
For those unfamiliar with the Tebow story, he is a physically gifted athlete and one of the best collegiate quarterbacks of his generation, but with a skill set that would not work for a quarterback at the NFL level. He also happens to be a devout Christian who used his fame to attach himself to a pro-life Super Bowl ad 2 years ago.
Screenshot recommended by Crusader for this post. Who's shipping this by the way?
Before the season started, he was in the midst of a battle over the starting role in Denver with Kyle Orton. Then he dropped down the pecking order further where it was leaked to the media that the coaching staff thought he was the 4th best QB on the roster. When the season finally started, Denver came out of the blocks 1-4 when coach John Fox decided to put Tebow in as the starters since the fans and local media demanded it. Whether it was an honest attempt to change their fortune or to let him fail so they could move on next season.
After being destroyed by Detroit, the Broncos started winning and winning some more while running a college-style spread offense. While a great chunk of America wanted to see him fail, he kept guiding them to clutch victory after clutch victory.
As for the rest of those watching over Skype. Crusader no doubt sees him as the equivalent of Taichi from Chihayafuru for having loads of apologists disguising the fact that he isn’t very good. Sou loves him for the fact that it could pave the way for college-style offenses to succeed over decades of conventional wisdom which said it would never work. I personally take a more neutral position. He racked up wins against some of the weaker teams in the league, however, when it comes to late in the game he probably elevates his game proportionally greater than any athlete I’ve ever seen in clutch time. What else to expect from someone who doesn’t put talent in the 2 qualities needed to be an NFL QB?
They already have a successor to Rory Delap
This is part of a series of shorter posts recapping some of the more whimsical aspects of 2011, and not necessarily having to do with any of the main topics covered by this blog.
To many out there, the whole idea of Stoke City represents everything that football should not be. The Britannia Stadium where they play seems to always be cold and wet at night even before having to face a team of 11 huge men who are thought to be technically limited and only excel at the physical aspects of the game. No doubt it can be effective as they have not been involved in a relegation battle since promotion to the Premier League and seemed to have adjusted to playing in Europe at the same time.
Symbolically, there is more to this picture than Stoke managing to keep their place in the top flight, rather they are a contradiction personified. Take this joking phrase for example:
Barcelona couldn’t do it on a cold, wet night in Stoke.
At this point, Stoke are both the underdogs and the team bullying plucky little Barcelona. That would be the same Barcelona who are arguably the greatest technical team ever assembled. There’s nothing wrong with their approach, though, as it is within the rules and it is effective enough to stop even some of the best teams from imposing their strength on them.
I couldn't help but laugh when I saw this use of Photoshop
Stretching that thought out just a bit to the world that I normally write on, success is measured by income rather than quality of the work. In this case, the Stoke equivalent would be a series based entirely around marketable characters with the plot itself being a a secondary concern. There’s also the massive franchise that has broad appeal, who have already won the marketing game but are reaching out to make more money. Finally, there’s the new series which tries to go the third way with a focus on putting together a quality story first. Usually, the 2nd example will continue to rack in more money, the first will manage to just about make a profit. With this all being zero-sum in terms of money available from consumers, the third way almost always loses out.
Try to go the third way, and pragmatism (plus bad refereeing) will screw you in
So in conclusion, marketability will just about do for succeeding commercially and unadulterated physicality can keep you up in the top flight.
