The Worst Stuff I Have Ever Watched #3

Ah the future, where everyone wears knee socks regardless of gender and the scarves are made of hard plastic so they can be always flapping in the "wind."
Ah the future, where everyone wears knee socks regardless of gender and the scarves are made of hard plastic so they can be always flapping in the "wind."

“Apocalypse Zero is an anime that lives up to its name. Zero merits, zero reasons to watch it, zero out of ten.”

Apocalypse Zero

Positives

  • Inexplicably high level of VA talent assembled here.
  • The official subbers of this elected not to subtitle some of the lines, the laziness of others can be beneficial.
  • The effects of long-term exposure to radiation end up being comic fodder, though I doubt this was intentional.
  • Ending theme is also far too good for this.
  • Unintentional comedy score of 97 out of 100.

Negatives

  • Lots of stuff I will never be able to unsee of a graphic sexual nature
  • English title of Apocalypse Zero sounds like it should not be a post-apocalyptic title…unless the apocalypse is actually a pre-apocalypse.
  • I should also mention that graphic sexual nature describes every villain
  • Recycled footage in a 2 episode OVA, seriously
  • Narrative is a complete mess, but I wouldn’t be watching a masterpiece for this feature.
  • Main villain defeated comically easily

Well the story is pretty much a mess. The planet is rocked by earthquakes that last for 5 years and have exposed everyone to massive amount of radiation leaving many people deformed.

Hakugo gets friendly with his armored suit. Was this really necessary?
Kakugo gets friendly with his armored suit. Was this really necessary?

It’s a dangerous world where innocent teenage couples can be attacked by giant women who insist on full frontal nudity, and students go to school in unsafe buildings. There to protect them is Hagakure Kakugo and his armored suit named Zero.

The flow of the series is essentially fight scene, flashback, end of fight, bonding with other students with Horie (voiced by someone named Horie of all things) continuing her unrequited love of Kakugo before things repeat all over again.

The voice acting leaves surprisingly little room for complaint as it seems they simply hired a large chunk of the Evangelion voice team and threw money at them, or they simply needed work which is more likely.

Strange tongue deformity that.
Strange tongue deformity that.

Also, there is an overtly sexual element to nearly every scene. Whether it’s Kakugo making sweet love to his armor, or his brother/whatever changing genders because of the armor, or monsters with multiple penises, or detachable breast monsters or even a vagina capable of ripping off arms there’s no line that isn’t crossed.

In the end, the only redeeming factor is the comedy, though I doubt they set out for it to be like that. The terrible writing, the sex monsters, the physically impossible ways people are killed off and much more merely had me laughing. And no, that isn’t an endorsement of this at all.

And for anyone who comes across this, I am once again open to suggestions for terrible anime, or terrible anything else to watch for this feature. I’m hoping the next one doesn’t revisit this all too familiar theme of post-apocalyptic life.

2 thoughts on “The Worst Stuff I Have Ever Watched #3”

    1. I never really thought of this as a public service before:D. About the images, the first is of Kakugo undergoing the process of bonding with his Zero suit so it will let him use it, while the second one is three high school students (mutated by radiation obviously) who have just had what they think is just a woman in a nurse outfit offer herself to them. Eventually it leads from this to this. There’s much worse than this though.

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