The Chronicles of the Head Creative Writer Part 6 (A Mahouka Tale)

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[The following was uttered by the Head Creative Writer for Mahouka. Tired of having to deal with Tatsuya’s backstage personality and his ability to assert creative control over the events of the series, he vented publicly about what was going on behind the scenes.]

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“There’s only one way for me to do this, and that is for me to tell it like it is. You know, three weeks ago I left Magic High School and quite frankly I didn’t know if I was going to come back. And the reason I didn’t know whether or not I was going to come back is because from day one that I’ve been in Magic High School I’ve done nothing but deal with the bullshit of the politics behind that curtain. The fact of the matter is I have an Imouto and three waifus at home and I don’t need this shit. But let me tell you the reason I did come back. I came back for every one of the guys in that locker room who week in, week out bust their asses for Magic High School. I came back for the Shun Morisakis, I came back for every single guy in the Club Activities Group, I came back for the Kenjutsu Club, I came back for Hattori, I came back for the guys behind the curtain who give a shit about this story.”

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“And let me tell you who doesn’t give a shit about this story, that goddamned politician Tatsuya Shiba. Because let me tell you people what happened out here in this plot today. All day long I’m playing politics with Tatsuya Shiba because tonight Tatsuya Shiba wants to play his creative control card. And to Tatsuya Shiba, that meant today in the middle of this plot, when he knew it was bullshit, he beats Hanzou Hattori. Well, guess what, Tatsuya got his wish. Tatsuya got his belt and he went the hell home. I promise everybody, or else I’ll go in the goddamned grave, you will never see that piece of shit again.

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“Nobody is going to be ripped off today. Tatsuya now has the Magic High School belt. And Tatsuya, let’s refer to that as the Tatsuya Shiba Memorial belt because from here on out, that belt don’t mean shit.”

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“Because there will be a new Magic High School belt and, as far as I’m concerned, that belt still belongs to the one guy who busts his ass week in and week out in the middle of this ring. You people can love him or hate him, but he doesn’t screw anybody back there, and that’s Hanzou Hattori.”

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“Now hold on a minute, Hanzou Hattori is still the official Magic High School champion, but he will defend that title in this series tonight against the son of a bitch back there who for 14 years has been busting his ass among Blooms and can’t get a goddamn break because of the (sic) Tatsuya Shiba. I’m talking about Shun Morisaki.”

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“Shun Morisaki and Hanzou Hattori are the two reasons I’m in this damn stinkin’ business to begin with. So tonight in this ring for the Magic High SchoolTitle, two deserving guys, Hattori and Shun, will compete for the Magic High School Title and tear this goddamn house down. And Tatsuya, you emotionless son of a bitch, kiss my ass.”

4 thoughts on “The Chronicles of the Head Creative Writer Part 6 (A Mahouka Tale)”

    1. You can tell cuz your post comes up first when I googled the first sentence, before stuff about the original and even an earlier parody from some forum.

  1. Has the headwriter entered a counseling program yet? He probably needs one. Tatsuya Chiba, Anime’s unequivocal answer to Chuck Norris is not relinquishing control any time soon.

    1. In later years, the head writer moved over to the SAO team, but found out that he didn’t have as much power as he liked. He spent a few years after that trying to rekindle past success with a number of light novel adaptations that simply didn’t work out for him. Now he simply has a blog that tells stories of past glories.

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